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Entries in plural marriage (2)

Tuesday
Mar222011

Plyg Talk - When Grandmas Become Sister Wives

Sunday's Sister Wives episode had a BOMB DROP!

Janelle's mom married Kody's Dad.

There, I said it.

I suppose that means that Janelle and Kody are technically step- brother and sister who then got married which is breaking another law.

And I am still defending this family.

Why? Because it all went down so....naturally!

Getting to know the Grandmas

There was so much to Sunday's episode but the big thing for me was learning more about the grandparents the family went to visit, than the 'investigation' going on back at their home that they were trying to escape.

You see Kody's parents were not polygamists. Neither were Janelle's.

Kody entered what they call The Faith and Meri (who wanted this lifestyle) sought out Janelle.

Janelle and Kody fell in love and both realized they wanted a plural marriage.

Janelle's family all but abandoned her. All, but her mom.

Janelle's mom would come around to support her daughter, but also she became curious about the lifestyle.

Janelle's mom, Sheryl, then fell in love with Kody's dad.

Kody's mom, Genielle (yes, already too many variations of the name Janel going on), admits that she was jealous, angry, and not happy.

Both grandmas admit it was rough the first few years.

They got over it.

Somehow this breed of polygamist people figure out how to move beyond jealousy and not just accept the other person, but EMBRACE them and love them and develop their own relationship.

This is why I still defend this family.

It's not for me, but these people are choosing this lifestyle.

Again, and again.

No one (in this family) seems forced into it. They want it - tough times and all.

But most importantly they want to stop hiding.

Even if it means opening up the WHOLE trutch that grandmas are sister wives and a married couple are technically step-siblings.

The grandmas know that Kody and his family coming out means they are coming out too.

They know it could mean long cold stares at the grocery store in their community.

But they love and support their kids, and grandkids and want life to be easier in the long run for all of them.

That's what I admire most.

If you need to catch up you can get Sister Wives season 1 off Amazon:

 

Janine

For more Plyg Talk see

Group Hug (season 2)

My thoughts on Sister Wives (season 1)

Can America accept plural marriages? (season 1)

Monday
Oct252010

Plyg Talk - My Thoughts on the Season Finale of TLC's 'Sister Wives'

Yes I know I'm a week late on this but I think even The Browns would agree, better late than never!

Kody and the Gang Get Married

This last episode (really two episodes back to back) was all about The Wedding. Kody and Robyn were tying the not (legally or illegally remains to be seen) and as Robyn accurately described, "emotions were flying all over the place".

What you realize watching this hot mess unfold is that it's not just a marriage between two people, it's a marriage between 5 families. Everyone was going to have to adjust to everyone else because even the families that have been plugging along nicely are going to come out of this blending experience different. Roles may change, feeling will definitely be hurt, and everyone gets less time with Kody.

Plus, all the wives had some say in the planning of this wedding. Each one seemed to have their own 'thing' and they got it. And when Kody decided to exercise his "I'm the man of the house" role, he got his butt kicked... x4

Janelle

Let's start with the easiest one. Janelle held onto her "most easy going" status once again except when it came time to spec out the reception area. Janelle hates receptions. She did not have a big wedding, she did not have a reception. She wanted no part of it. Until she saw the outdoor location and then she was ALL about it.

Christine

Christine is the wife who is most vocal about her dislike of, well, anything! She doesn't think it's fair that Kody spend so much time with Robyn because even though they are engage, engaged is NOT married. She didn't think it was appropriate for her, the 3rd wife, to have a big, fancy wedding...so obviously it's rediculous that the 4th wife is planning this elaborate event.  Also, we learn in the florist shop that she'll be damned if she's gonna carry a bouquet of flowers at the wedding! She has to carry Truly! (Read: he may be giving you a big fat white wedding, but don't forget he just gave ME a baby!)

Meri

Meri, having just come back from Mexico with Kody for an anniversary trip, has clearly reconnected with her husband. She is the first wife, she talks the most about her jealousy issues, but she's also the one to blame for this plural marriage business. Meri's request for the wedding was that there be time set aside to take a family photo and that Robyn NOT be wearing her wedding dress in the photo. At first this seemed like a strange, and almost harsh request at first. Then I realized she's right! The photo is about the family, not that one day when Robyn was a bride.

 There was also a very tender moment when Meri was helping Kody get ready for the wedding. She's straightening his vest and has this cute smile on her face. Kody is looking at her in this very loving way and leans in for a kiss. Aaaand Meri leans away laughing.

"I was going to say something...{giggle}"

She turns to the camera as Kody is turning to leave (he's laughing).

"I wish it was my wedding night."

She said that with a giggle and a huge smile on her face.

Robyn

Robyn, the bride, has her hands full and no one seems to notice. She's just gone through a move, is still physically separate from the family in her own house, has planned this huge wedding (200 people) and incorporated something that each of the other wives wanted. We learn that sister wives are pretty sucky bridesmaids. In their defense they never claimed to be bridesmaids and don't consider themselves bridesmaids but then they suck at the 'sister' part of sister wives.

It's also Robyn's fault. According to Meri, "She insisted the wives and kids get their hair and nails done."

What I remember most about the wedding was watching Robyn run around like a chicken with its head cut off ALL day doing stuff like ironing, organizing, arranging, and all that crap that bridesmaids (or sisters) are supposed to be doing so that all the bride has to do is...get her hair and nails done.

Kody

Kody Kody Kody. Sure, we see the good guy in him. He seems to know all of his kids and call them by the right name. He drove around for hours trying to correct the fact that the wedding invitations had the wrong address on them. But when he messes up, he messes up x4. Kody decided that during one of the interview segments he would 'drop a bomb'.

The look on the wives faces should have told him to stop there or at the very least, come up with something really insignificant like that he's giving half his closet to Robyn. But no, for once Kody felt the need to exercise his man-of-the-houses right and the adrenaline got the best of him and he charged ahead and blurted out,

"I picked out Robyn's wedding dress"

{GASP}

OK, for most of us it would be no big deal. But for this family it meant....betrayal! You see the wives had spend all friggin day with Robyn at the dress shop, suffering through her dancing around in one (inappropriate) white gown after the next and they thought they had shared a special secret with Robyn.

But Robyn had not actually purchased the dress that day. She and Kody snuck back and he got to choose.

And then, like a big dummy who's about to get married, he announced it with the cameral rolling. THe result? Robin turns green and is about to puke, Meri and Janelle are stunned and obviously disappointed, and Christine unhooks her mic and walks off the set.

Nice going Kody.

When they all settle back down Christine says something very poignant,

"I need you to step up. I know you can do this, that's why I married you. I need you to step up and do this."

I was sad to learn the Brown family is now under investigation. It's not surprising but I look at this family a little like pioneers. They knew the risks doing a show like this but the took the risk hoping to make life easier for their kids.

No more hiding.

Be who you are.

People throughout the ages have struggled to defend their religion, sexuality, and political beliefs.

It got me thinking, what makes this family any different?

Janine

Note: all quotes are how I remember them, so they may not be exact but they are close.