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« How do they know this stuff? | Main | Fashionista Friday - Getting Fancy in the Mornings »

The World's Best Grandpa that Never Was

I try not to 'go there' but I'm human.

I try to look at the bright side of things. I try to focus on the positive. I really am grateful for what I have.

But birthdays and Flag Day are the days I can't help but think of what a kick-ass grandpa my dad WAS to my neice, and would have been,

could have been,

SHOULD have been, to E & E.

Seven years ago today my father passed away.

The Twofer were three weeks old.

(Grief and sleep deprivation combined feel like the worst hangover you ever had... times 10.)

For three weeks he got to shine as their grandpa, although mostly on the phone.

Many of us feel the only reason he kept fighting on was to see them,

to meet them,

to hold them.

And he did get to do all of that.

My Dad holding The Twofer. He died a week later.

For one, brief 48 hour period he got to be there for them in person and he packed a lifetime of grandpa into those 48 hours.

He took them for a walk in the stroller.

He gave them a painting he did of lavendar fields in Provence for their room.

He helped bathe them.

He played with them.

He fed them.

He burped them.

He consoled them.

He sang to them.

He rocked them.

He cried holding them.

He was human.

He once told me, "I'm not afraid to die. I'm just sad about what I'll miss out on."

Me too Daddy.

Love you and miss you always,


Reader Comments (10)

I was crying by the end of the title, so have no idea how you were able to write all of that - what a beautiful tribute!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiff

Hi Janine - It is really touching to read your story. I am glad that your dad waited for both your girls to be born. That in of itself is really special. Anya doesnt have any grandparents. Both our parents passed before she was anywhere close to being born.

I love what your dad said about not being afraid of dying but afraid to miss out on things and having people miss you all the time.....that's how I feel too:)
Take care!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDesrene Sesay

My father-in-law passed away suddenly when my oldest was a year and a half. She was the only grandchild he knew. I gave birth to the only other grandchild on that side a year after his passing. She has his spirit, humor, straight forwardness, and sensitivity. He would tease my oldest and she would tease right back. Much like my two girls do today. How they would have adored their Pa had they had the time. Thanks for your post. It is helping us remember Pa today, on Flag Day (one of his favorite holidays!)

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Anne

Wow. I am incredibly touched by your Dad's passing and the effort he made to 'be there' for the time he was allowed.
I wish we all could recognize and appreciate the little ones as if it were our last days.

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave (Dad of 9 Kids)

Thanks everyone for coming by and leaving a comment! It really does help to be able to share him with others :). Janine

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanine Nickel

What a touching post.

My natural father past away 7 years ago in July. He never got to meet my baby girl (8 months now) and my baby due in September, but I know he's around, he's looking down.

Sadly my father and I weren't in touch when he passed away-he left when I was five and we had very limited contact over the years (his part) but nonetheless he was my dad and it hurts he's not around anymore.

My step-father is a wonderful man and fantastic grandad yet there will always be a piece of me missing.

Think of the good times, hold onto every good moment and smile and thought-it's what gets you through.

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFi

such a sweet post and i love the picture! I'm so glad your dad was able to get some grandpa time. I'm so sorry for your loss---I know this wasn't an easy post to write. :(

Sending love and hugs your way!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterworkout mommy

Sending you hugs girlfriend. So glad that he got to spend time with the girls!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Hey Sis: this totally made me cry. I often forget about that brief few days you had to watch him be grandpa to E & E. And while Jules had 2.5 years with him AJ had none. We were all robbed of the most important gift: time. So now we must nurture and pass along the only give we can: memories!

June 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJP Laqueur

I know all too well what you're talking about. My mom said the same thing to us -- she wasn't afraid to die but her one regret was not getting to see our girls grow up. I do think that she sees them. Going to a medium in August. Will let you know how it goes.

Your dad did more in those 3 weeks then some people do with their grandchildren in their whole lives :)

June 15, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjanine santora

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