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« Fashionista Friday - jeans and shoes with bling | Main | List of Maryland, Virginia and DC area Moms on Twitter (version 2) »

This is why I'm neurotic as a parent of girls

I was reading The Huffington Post and saw this before and after photo from People Magazine of Heidi Montag.

People Magazine photo from Huffington Post

Heidi apparently opens up in People about her addiction to plastic surgery.

She KNOWS she has a problem.

Her family knows she has a problem.

And now the world knows she has a problem with trying to achieve perfection and yet she can't stop.

It's no longer a need to be beautiful - she WAS beautiful. She is now verging on freakish and I'm guessing the need is to fill some other void she has.

How does a girl with her looks, a hit TV show, fame, love and money suffer from such incredible insecurity?

What went wrong in her life that she couldn't ignor the hurtful comments she received when she first hit the Hollywood scene?

And, most importantly...

What could her parents have done to help her before it came to this?

If you have any insight, let me know.


Reader Comments (10)

Gracious! This is pitiful! I have no insight other than to say, she probably needs to feel REAL love.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnita

She's lame. Man, she looked so much cuter before! She just looked normal, and young, and pretty. Now she looks old, and fake, and weird.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I know - if you look at old photos of her from The Hills her little imperfections made her cute. Like the girl next door. Now she seems freakish!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanine Nickel

I think it's important for our daughters to hear from us (both parents) how beautiful they are. It's not just about a pretty face, it's telling them they're beautiful at odd times, when you know they NEED TO hear it; even when they've got a zit or a bad hair day or whatever. They need to be SINCERELY complimented and affirmed when they do or say something beautiful.

I affirm my daughter daily; there's enough of the world bearing down and she needs to find refuge in "home"...or she'll find it elsewhere.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin ~ PENSIEVE

Well, for starters, don't let the twofer run off to hollywood or star in a "reality" tv show. I can't imagine being a woman in hollywood- where EVERYTHING is about how you look and EVERYONE has an opinion that they are more than happy to share with you about it. It's just awful- I don't understand the draw AT ALL.

But, secondly, if your children grow up in a loving and supportive enviroment, they will grow up confident, secure, and not feel that there self-worth is derived entirely from their looks.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily E.

When I first looked at the photo I thought it was a before and after with all the airbrushing and pinning of clothes exposed. But, Heidi is actually airbrushing her self...transforming herself from an attractive, blond/blue eyed, lots of money, West coast way to a freakish (good word choice!) plastic surgery overload. Will Heidi get to the Michael Jackson stage with angular, razor sharp cheekbones and almost no nose? I think he had tape on his nose quite frequently.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMusingsfromMe/Jill

Robin I totally agree that we need to affirm our daughters and I know my parents did A LOT for me and I probably suffered from OVER confidence :).

Emily - good point - as much as I'd love the Twofer to become moguls like Mary-Kate and Ashley I do think #1 rule is no Hollywood.

Jill - I never thought of that that way but she IS airbrushing herself!

January 20, 2010 | Registered CommenterJanine Nickel

She did it for attention and to stay on the reality radar. She made up a story about almost dying during the sugeries and her Doctor said it wasn't true. Again, the added drama is just another attempt to make her a story and prolong her 15 minutes.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStewart

the new her makes her look older which at her age is not good hold on to your youth cause it will backfire when she gets older. i don't get whats up with this generation i mean my younger cousin is already complaining about herself getting fat and shes slim and a dancer type in middle school.

January 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlorrie

Most images we see go way beyond airbrushing. Just out of college, I worked for eLuxury (now bust) and part of my job was working with online and print media departments. eLuxury was fashion web retail site. Anyway, the models we used were no larger than size 2. Often we were directed (by the brands we carried (Dior, LV, Marc Jacobs etc) to slim thighs, waists, face, and increase eye size etc. in post production. I was amazed by how the models looked before and after. It was crazy.

Sorry I ramble. I'll be honest with my daughter and tell her what really happens in the media. They sell a fantasy. What you see isn't real. I'll tell her, I just hope she will listen.

January 22, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhacked daddy

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