Monday
Nov022009
Life Lesson: I can't make someone _______ (fill in the blank)
Monday, November 2, 2009 at 10:00AM This took me a long time to figure out. But a few years ago I finally realized that I can't make anyone do anything. Period. And this is a life lesson I am trying to pass down to the Twofer.
You can't make someone...
like you
do what you want them to do
be nice
stop doing something
say the right thing
care
But what can you do?
The only person you can control is yourself.
You can manage your expectations.
You can evaluate your own reaction.
You can choose to engage or not engage (in an argument, in the drama, etc.)
Accepting that you can't change others brings peace.
And for me, this was across the board.
at work
online
at home
So now I hope to pass this on to my daughters.
Because they are starting to see that they can't make other people (including their own twin sister) do, say, act, or be anything. Maybe I can save them 32 years of frustration trying to learn that life lesson.
Janine
Reader Comments (6)
I've tried to teach this to all four of mine. My oldest turned 16 on Friday last week (officially making me older than DIRT!). Last year he auditioned for The Baltimore School for the Arts. Over 300 kids auditioning for 18 spots. We were so proud when he got a call back, only 75 kids did. Three weeks after the call back he found out that he would be in spot number 4 on the waiting list. I was crushed, more than he was in fact. I felt as though his dream was slipping away for him and that is more than a mom can bear. Do you know what this man in a child's body said to me "Mom, it's okay, we can't make them let me in. I know I want to do this and all I can do is keep working".. He comforted ME with a lesson I taught him! They are listening.. even the 16 year olds!
Now that is a real chicken nuggest of wisdom from a 16 year old! Thanks for sharing :)
Later dad told us it was a sickness. Mom was indeed taken, but not by the police. She was taken to a special hospital in a little town far from where we were. As I recall this, I try to think about the holidays at this time. Then I shake my head, knowing that for us, till mom got well there was no holiday.
thank you.
เกมส์
Thanks for sharing nice information.....
Life's lessons indeed are hard to fathom. I am dreading for the years to come on how will I let my son listen and do exactly what I say to him, but I am thinking he should explore and learn on his own. I will be just here to guide him and be with him whenever he needs me. Whatever the outcome may be, I am still his mother.